#The great wall movie

This isn't just a simple wall, oh no, this is a wonder wall with lots of hidden features that are revealed by moving sections. Seriously, with all the arrows, flaming boulders, harpoons, spears, explosives etc.taking out lots of aliens at a safe distance, why would you need women to leap to their inevitable deaths simply to skewer one single alien? It sounds exciting but is in fact completely and utterly pointless and merely offers juicy meat for the aliens to snap up. These female warriors bungee jump off the top of the wall, spears in hand, to attack the aliens below. Now all these units make perfect sense.except for the ladies unit. Yeah seems a bit unrealistic for an entire unit to be made up of women, but I know women warriors did exist back in ancient China so I'll give that a semi-pass. For example there are the archers which wear all red armour and the, ahem, acrobatic unit which wear all blue armour. Well each warrior is split into individual units with special skills and different colour uniforms/armour. Lets take a look at the Chinese warriors in this movie, The Nameless Order. The ideas and story behind these creatures are so stupid and messy I can't believe they went ahead with them. Oh and there's some crap about magnets hypnotising the aliens into a deep sleep, whatever I dunno. But we also learn that if the Queen is neutralised (or killed obviously), so that the rest cannot hear her calls, the hordes will freeze or sleep or just become statues or something. The aliens also appear to be somewhat invulnerable because they can only be killed by being struck in their incredibly small eyes?! So.no other body part being struck has any effect? We also learn that these aliens have a Queen and she controls the hordes via their high pitch calls (with the gills). Why do they always attack the same spot on the wall? Why not somewhere else or split into two separate attacks? Are there other attacks elsewhere on the wall we aren't seeing? Why do they only attack every 60 years? Seriously what is that about? Are they hibernating in the meantime? This in turn leads me to ask how on earth these aliens haven't been discovered by anyone other than the Chinese yet? How have the aliens not managed to overcome the wall thus far considering how great in number they are. This happened two thousand years prior to these events, sooo.did these aliens evolve in that time? Whatever happened it must have happened quickly because there are apparently millions of these aliens. These aliens apparently came to Earth via a meteorite that struck a mountain, which turned the mountain green because.I don't know. Its kinda like a mutant alligator crossed with a vicious dog, with its eyes just above is fronts legs, a mohawk and some gills down its back for communicating in high pitch screams. The woeful CGI doesn't help its case of course but what the fuck is going on with that design? It looks like something from the 90's, I can't even describe it. For starters the design is absolutely terrible, truly, this is no lie.

#The great wall movie

The question is does this movie get around this cliched plot and give us something special? Well first things first, lets look at the enemy, the alien monster horde. Yes its an age old tale which we've all seen a fair few times for sure. Luckily they both display great courage and fighting skills when the aliens attack which pleases the Chinese, so they end up helping with the struggle. Unfortunately for the Europeans this must remain a secret so they are held captive indefinitely. Turns out this special division was put in place to protect the Chinese Kingdom from a race of alien monsters (yes that's right, alien monsters). There they discover a special division of the Imperial Army of the Song Dynasty called 'The Nameless Order'. After losing all of their men to Khitan bandits in the region, the last two mercs, William (Matt Damon) and Tovar (Pedro Pascal), stumble upon the great wall (unsure how they didn't see it). The plot: A band of European mercenaries are in China searching for the magic black powder that kills many (gunpowder). This is fact, but this movie deals with legend (but not a real one). This great wall ran along the ancient border of northern China to protect against various groups of invaders from various areas that now make up some of eastern Europe, Mongolia and mainly Russia. The earliest construction starting back in the 7th century BC. K so in China there is this huge wall that was slowly constructed over the ages by various Dynasties.